Christine— let’s call it, J.—Marroni meant to get down to DC one of these days.
For no reason in particular, it wouldn’t be this weekend— the second weekend in January, like she had convincingly insisted only two weeks before. Regardless, C. “J.” Marroni would be spending her Nth weekend in a row just a stone’s throw from aptly named Trolley Square in the heart of Wilmington, Delaware, where she had lived on-and-off for all of her 20-something years…. and not in the District of Columbia soaking up some Friday-night-live piano jazz at a hipster dive bar on U Street, where the bouncer charges you 5 dollars at the door even if you aren’t going upstairs to consume the live show and then draws what looks like a chinese character on the back of your hand with a sharpie as you slide past him (coolest bar stamp ever.); and certainly not curing her Saturday-morning hangover with a vanilla milkshake (pick your flavor) and handcut, rosemary fries at Spike-from-Top-Chef’s restaurant just across the street from the apartment she wouldn’t be crashing in the very cute Capitol Hill/Eastern Market neighborhood (where she wouldn’t be noticing that you can see the Capitol building from her host’s [that would not be hosting her this weekend, that is] bedroom window!).
Oh no, this weekend she wouldn’t be outdoor ice skating at the Smithsonian’s Sculpture Garden on a fine DC Saturday afternoon, or sipping wine and nibbling tapas later that evening in either Chinatown or Penn Quarter—she wouldn’t be taking her pick—because both are equally fun times and within walking distance to catch the 9:30 indie movie of her choice at E Street Cinema; Afterwards C. “J.” M. wouldn’t be deciding if she’d had enough because the early movie did still leave time for cocktails before the bars closed on the one hand, but this particular theater did serve beer and wine (which she wouldn’t have consumed, of course) on the other hand, so maybe she could call it quits after a big day out and feel very satisfied with her DC Saturday— or not, HELLO?! What The Hell?! she was(n’t) on vacation, right?!
And in no way would she rise this Sunday (of course, with[out] a hangover) for a quick, but delish brunch prepared by her happy host and then join said host (who is also a good friend) for a late Sunday morning, cleansing/energizing yoga class in DuPont circle at one of the nation’s “top 10 yoga studios”—heck, she wouldn’t even let said good friend spring for “J.” ‘s portion of the class fee or drink tea in the common room while she waited for class to begin; Marroni, C.J., absolutely would not then take this yogi opportunity to re-charge her system for the weekend’s most anticipated event: a crucial playoff game between her favorite NFL team, the Flipadelphia Eagles, vs. their most hated rivals the Dallas Cow-Nerds, which was to be whole-heartedly viewed at the one, the only— Rhino Bar (in beautiful Georgetown)!— serving as the Eagles’ bar of DC and sure to offer up plenty of obnoxious (but hopefully cute) Philly-area dudes transplanted to DC because of big-money, but eye-rollingly boring job opportunities; said dudes may even still be popping their pink polo collars under their Samuel and Rocca jerseys, which is kinda cute but way two-thousand-and-late. But Ms. Marroni (middle initial “J.”) wouldn’t be holistically cheersing them in DC (with a great friend/host by her side) as the Eagles finally won over the Loser-Boys this season— just when it counted, mind you— because she wouldn’t be making the trip down this weekend. No, she wouldn’t be recounting her DC-weekend over a mellowing glass of vino at the organic restaurant where a mutual hometown friend (of both Marroni’s and of Marroni’s DC BFF, whom was not— obviously— also her host thiscoming weekend) works as the head chef—or something like that—but chef enough so he can totally (not) hook her and her host/friend up with some crazy, good granny-smith apple risotto and some weird ham-flavored sorbet as they gloat over a Birds playoff win and bid adeau ‘til next time, “Waldo” (as “J.” had taken to saying these days, but not yet in DC). No, Christine would be in Delaware this weekend, obvi not in DC, for no particular reason at all.
